It is a really stressful week... i am going to be super tired and busy because my tests is coming soon .. I am getting sick of BT ... Hard to memorise but somehow there is 32 questions to get all in to ur head... feel like dying somehow... :(

Let me think if there is anything interesting today:
Hmm, not really .. but teacher ask me to redo my portfolio.. cause too plain..

And oh ya... I just unconsciously realise that her position as my friend has demoted to the last rank. Not sure of the reason why, But it seems that i am not quite bothered on her changes and attitude . Probably getting sick of everything. Even if she trying to make a scene, i dont bothered to watch it.

I put her name to the last in our History project. i was the one who put her there... not knowing why. probably just feel that it is not fair for her to revise her work.. and we are struggling and fighting for time to pass slowly..and she is happily studying without considering our feelings of studying later.

That is what i think. That why now i am not talking to her much. I am not angry at her..of course not. Just that i dont feel like talking to a emotional woman... quite sensitive sometimes...

Now i just bothered with my thing and study. Will still talk to her but is very simple conversation. i dont hate her .. just .. well .. you know... things cant be forced . Wish her good lucks. and wish Everyone good lucks for the coming exams :)

KAMABATEK !

Today i didnt travel to dear house because i got tons of homework and all have to be completed by next week. I was rushing like hell because it seems to irritate me knowing that i have 2 weeks left before examinations arrive. I was a bit anxious to know what are the tips . Therefore, in order to set my heart to ease, i rush all my projects and finished it without any delaying.

I am a good girl today, i finished all my DP works finally and My history project and now i am revising my BT study notes.Trying to memorise all within 5-6 days . Can i do it.. Yea ! kambatek . everyday 5 questions , u sure can finish studying all de la.. i Trust in myself !

You must do it , chris.. for the sake of answering to yourself and to your age . Well , getting older soon so must not leave myself regretted. i always tell myself this that you cant predict the future but you can grab the present.

Well, i think that alot of people didnt know what teacher wants for the Sceno project. Actually i am not that sure if i am in the right track .. but since what the project done has answered to teacher requirments .. i believed wad i do is correct after all. Anyway , just trust in yourself is the most important.

Like i trust my dear wont play around with woman when i am not around. I have trust in a person completely if i love him, but if i find out he has been deceiving me, i will not trust him anymore.

Now i am memorising for my BT notes.

It seems that i should start my account soon. Never mind,from tomorrow onwards, i cam manipulated my time. I wont be controlled by TIME again . ^^ I am so glad to find the old me. Last time, i used to be lacking of confidence in everything after i rely on my dear too much. Now, i am BACK. The OLD CHRIS IS BACK . actually , my old nickname wasnt CHRIS NG, i was called CHRISTINYN NG. But after some incident, i changed to CHRIS NG to be more masuline and tough in character, of course not in look la. i still look girl girl de .. lol ..

CHRISTINYN NG probably should remain as a part of memories in Temasek Poly. A fresh new me in BCA should be Named as CHRIS NG.

ACtually i have lot of nicknames:
Primary School - Huizhen

Secondary school - Apearl , May den transformed to Christina .. den transformed to Christine

Poly - Changed to Christinyn

BCA - changed to chris

What will i named myself if i go to work? lol.. i am still thinking , but i still like my first letter to be name as 'C' ..

Confidence
Happiness
Rough
Insensitive
Silly

haha...

For the past week, i said 2 strong words :
"People who shown no respect in love shouldnt love"
"It doesnt matter how slow you are as long as you do not stop"

I like both which i said and i keep saying it to my dear until he hear sick of it. Lol ! today i just went to my dear house and i rested at his house for 15 minutes. Currently sleeping 3-4 hours a day isnt helping to boost my morale of studying. I am feeling so tired lately and my brain isnt clear for memorising my BT . So Sad. Today is super tired , after returning to my home. i been doing the history ... really sick of history.. how i wish history wount end.... /. .\

I dont like history at all.... why studying the past..? i believed we , the new generation will create nore things which are asethically good. i believed the Future, i dont believe the past. Since past is a history, let face the facts to future.

That why i said i hate history. I really dont like that subject. But for the sake of god, i got to do it... sian =.=

i like BT actually, i learn new thing ... for the future.. like green concept.. going green that kind... not studying about all those ancient furniture... why for... aiyo.. waste time sia.. anyway, today dear bought 2 jean and a polo tee.. :) look pretty good on him. I think his face changed to become more mature... now i almost forgot how his used to be hairstyle look like already. i only can recognised him as botak nia... lol !!!

ok la.. i gt to go... DP Time ! :) bye

1) BT test tomorrow
2) DP 2 Assignment(still life completed) left 2D drawing floor plan
3) History Project
4) CS project - soon
5) Sceno Project - halfway
6) account - Done
7)DP test on 7 oct
8)DS test on 8 Oct
9)DS 2 model(completed)

New* :
1) Portfolio DS
2) DP assignment 7 - draw floor plan
----------------------------------------------------------------

Today nobody come to the DP lecture in our group except me. Haha , it sounded pathetic right but actually i go to school also never listened to what teacher said actually. but i just know roughly what he wants den confirm again with cindy . i sit behind the 3 of them, melody, cindy and adeline. Only the 3 of them come ... oh oh oh and plus sandy :)

Lol , den i was busy with my autocad :) the notes are so thick that i could faint easily. After that, I go to canteen and have a drink. i was so thirsty and keep using my saliva to wet my lips ... den after that adeline and sandy saw me and ask me why am i still here . i told them i eat finish the sardine curry puff and my drink den i will go and find them :) They said ok.. den after finish eating , i went to the lounge straightly. i saw adeline , cindy and sandy.. no sign of melody. Oh , den i find out she went home and cook for her family. Guilty, i never done that once.

den we chat chat happily and discuss about the model they made. :)

haha after that , we went home together cause living in the same red line. :)

tata.. den now i am home.. blogging before going to my autocad =.*

1) BT test tomorrow
2) DP 2 Assignment(still life completed) left 2D drawing floor plan
3) History Project
4) CS project - soon
5) Sceno Project - halfway
6) account - Done
7)DP test on 7 oct
8)DS test on 8 Oct
9)DS 2 model to be hand up next week tuesday (completed)

New* :
1) Portfolio DS
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the way , my previous post was only for my own personal view. If you cant understand it, that's the best. Because that was my intention.

Currently in dilemma now, dear seem to suffer in there. And besides that , my own problem is that i cant seem to forget the old me in TP. I feel like quitting to solve the current problem. Ya, actually my mind is getting quite emo but this is nothing . Because somehow flashes of my past seem to come back suddenly. And i can feel it, it is somehow dominating my mind and soul. I knew one day there is going to be a problem, therefore i feel that quitting is the best solution i can think of.....

I wan to become the best interior designer working in a big firm with a big project on my hand.Having a group of the best elite under me and decide on the design. Seeing design getting shaped up in a few months of renovation and clients who loved the design i create for them. Basically, Money is not really a big issue but it still play a part. I want to let people realise that interior can be a form of art. Not really that, if you are living in HDB, interior design is irrelevant.

i have tons of dreams and inspirations during my young days .

I dream of becoming a scientist, therefore i put in lots of effort in my Sec 1. I dream of becoming a doctor, therefore i once have a rush to applied to take biology.
I dream of becoming a police woman, therefore i train myself in kickboxing to make myself stronger.
i dream myself being a cartoonist , that why i learn to draw manga at the age of 13.
i dream of being a singer, that why i always sing in my own toilet while bathing.

But i never dream becoming a interior designer. I never once think that interior is important until i step to my friend house. I realise that interior change the mood where u are staying. compare to my friend and my house, my house seem to be a coop. i wan to stick to my dream and pursue my career further. i was once an engineering student, but that was past. I will not forget my experiences i had and the bad day i had endured. The jealousy seem to enclosed the space during my poly days.

i always want to forget my old me and start afresh. but it seem that i cant do it. i cant....if i cant stand it, i might as well begin a new plan and strike it out on my own . :(

* Thanks, no comment is required*

A diary in different languages :)

안녕, 일기,

오늘 내가 행복한 날이있습니다. 내 두 가지 모델이 선생님 칭찬했고 그녀에게 아주 예뻐요. 물론 잠 안 오는 마지막으로 내 시간을 낭비하기 때문에 아니었 기뻤습니다. 그래서 오늘은 기본적으로 내 그룹 모델을 끝내고 우리는 그저 서로 채팅할 수있습니다. 주위를 보니, 사람들은 그녀의 바쁜 일을 많이 보았다. 재스민 때문에 우리가 그룹 프로젝트를 할 찐하게 매우 초조 같은 기분이야. 난 정말 그녀가 저랑 얘기하고 아니면 나를 세뇌하려고 그녀를 좋아 할겁니다. 난 도망 가라 것입니다. 그녀는 거머리처럼 될 나에게 붙어 보인다. 왜냐하면 그녀가 다른 친구는 정말 여자처럼 여러가지로 생각. 전 잘 모르겠습니다. 하지만 한가지는 나도 알아, 그녀는 바보입니다!

今のところ、私はすべてに最善を尽くすしようとしています。も、細部私は、これ私のプロジェクトで重要になる可能性を逃したことはありません。実際、今、私自身が既にため、私に疲れきっているグループの仕事のほとんどを行うように感じる。 BCAAのが私の研究私に何の独立性はなく、人に頼るよりはないと認識を聞かせてください。後、私の愛するSISPEC、時間が変更された私の実現にあります。彼は、私にとっては、常にこれ以上はいかない。しかし、良いことだiはスーパーウーマンになることを学ぶことができます。この現代社会では実際のスーパーウーマン。私はもう、私は30点に達する前に魅力的な10年間の抱えている私ではない18知っている。私は、有意義な人生ではなくに住んでいる私の日を指折り数えに住みたい。場合は、小さな小さなアリ、理由を傾ける私の目標がありますか？

私は毎日私のBCAAのでは、単にその友達に私はまだそれらの私の保守的なままになります愛しています。まあ、イボンヌ、ジャスミンとユージンのように。ことができるカジュアルな友人ではなく、それらに向けては、閉じてください。限り、私は本当に怒ってるのは本当に顔を向けるがない模様。

たぶん私は簡単だ、私と言うことを学ぶ必要があります私の態度を変更する必要があります謙虚'少しいいえ'は本当に好きだがないものです。実際には、理由は私は私は同じミスを私はTPをの前に行わせるのが怖いです単独で働くのは、この考え方が始まった。私は今、人の周り冗談が、彼女の仕事は非常にも深刻な治療を置いている喜びとユーモラスな小さな女性は午前参照してくださいに私はむしろ私の友人。私は、私の態度の人がしばらくしてイライラを感じるようになると述べたことができます。私はそのような人は、もし彼らは私の標準の最小値を満たしていない場合は、私と一緒にグループ化された、私たちのプロジェクト全体や内容が変更されますです。一部の人が自分の仕事を変更する傲慢だけど、感じることができる私は傾斜が何を望んでは何も受け入れる。だから私は将来の紛争を回避するためのプロジェクトだけをやってみたかった。

私のようなTPをdoesn'tの私の友人は本当にため、私は非常に厄介ですし、それらへの傲慢。私は、BCAAのクラスメートはまだ私の仕事態度だhasn'tと述べたことができます。実際に私の愛する周りに、私は物事はるかに遅い学習を見つける。しかし、私だけの戦いで戦うことを、私は本当にを介してそこに希望のglimspe見るために私の方法を戦うことができます。

*This post is meant to be private*

currently, i like one of the superstar 5..刘明湘!

Actually she is far away from me, probably around 100000 Km far away from me.. But i still like the maturity in her voice. The way she sing is smooth and pleasant to my ears ...

Ahhh, she is my idol now.. i been supporting her all this while.. keep seeing at her performance everytime.. i have v high expectation from her.. she should be the STAR for superstar 5. :D JIA YOU 刘明湘!

today is a spring surprise for me cause dear actually wait 2 hours for me .. until i get out from school.. suprise ... and more to come... i got a movie invitation from dear to watch "9" with him tomorrow at 7.35 pm.... ^^ YEA ^^

1) BT test tomorrow
2) DP 2 Assignment(still life completed) left 2D drawing floor plan
3) History Project
4) CS project - soon
5) Sceno Project
6) account - Qns 4 undone.
7)DP test on 7 oct
8)DS test on 8 Oct
9)DS 2 model to be hand up next week tuesday (completed)

Hi Everybody i am back to post my blogger again. It been a long long time since i blog. probably about 5 days ago. I left my blogger on the shelves, poor blogger... i am sorry ..

Alright , anyway , Pk and Ps thanks for all the support you have wrote in my tagboard.. really felt a sense of warmth running in me.. Anyway , a details of my life. Recently , i noticed that i can go back to my shape like last time. I am super sad, i am afraid to be fat .. well, alot of my friends said i am not fat.. but i feel that my arms and thigh are really big.. it isnt proportional on my body .. so sad.. never mind, i guess.. i need only a month to go back to my old shape like last time and be super healthy. :)

Due to my hectic lifestyle, it seem to be like i am going to be crazy soon. Dont feel so much in talking in school because i am super stressed.. as in , if you wan to see the level of my stress, see my hair... it will feel so curvey after a while.. super sad... anyway , let me write down my project and test:

1) BT test tomorrow
2) DP 2 Assignment
3) History Project
4) CS project
5) Sceno Project
6) account - Qns 4 undone.
7)DP test on 7 oct
8)DS test on 8 Oct
9)DS 2 model to be hand up next week tuesday

still counting on...

The day when the earth stood still, probably is a day of eternity break for me .... /. .\ :(

Hi ,

i am not sure whether you will read this letter which i written for you. However, these few days i been recalling the days we met, the days we used to do work and the days we had a small bicker. Although, all these moments are short, the impression last in my head. I do not know why things turn ugly and it seems that you treat me as a hi-bye friend. Well, i am okay with it ..since you wan to do thing in this way . "ALONE" is wad you been placing at your mouth since yesterday. I am not angry anymore because i already regarded you as a hi bye friend also from today onward .

since we already ask u to thrash things out and you didnt wan to say anything. I have nothing to say and the conclusion is :" you are trying to isolate yourself because of people influenced"

Singaporeans are easy to mix, just thrash thing out and everything will be fine. But i still hear ALONE at the side of your mouth. I think that's it. i know you are still hiding behind a mask and that wad make you a weird person.

Since you like to be alone, then i shall say : " alright , i shouldnt forced you to be in our group if you dont like our group at all " it is okay. Tomorrow, i will tell all teachers to split the group and your wish which you have been saying all this while will be granted.

Anyway, i dont wish to say anymore about you. It is like wasting my breathe.

BYE

I totally dread monday today , the most suck day i ever had in my life in school.. There is some internal conflict going on between in our group. actually most of the group are having internal conflict already. It is like a BGR ... somehow... love at first sight but can call it off after a few months when you know that person well.. Haiz... me and val seriously super disappointed with her ..why do we have to feel like begging her to do it with us for the project .. if i were her, i will ask people first for paper , hw, project... everything have to tell her ... and she has no initive in asking .. but seriously, i wont help her take any notes or anything for the time being if she is not coming to school. i had enough of it .. really ENOUGH !

I dont own her anything , why the Hell should i do all this shit ? Treating like an accompany tool is bad enough, why the hell should i help her take any notes or anything if she dont appreciate it. Grouping with her is like doing it solo myself, what is the use of grouping... and she dont even feel guilty about it ... i dont own her.. I HAD ENOUGH... since she said :"ALONE IS THE BEST" go on... Go and do it alone.. go and become anti - social ... people are there trying to help her with the best of their ability .. what do we get .. A sickening murmur from her ... and it is bad enough to knock it down... if u wan, come on.... tell us and u do it all alone.. I dont OWN YOU... THIS STUPID GREEN LITTLE WORLD DONT OWN YOU.. dont be so pampered ... to think of that ... living in a different culture, please adapt to the country you are living in... not vice versa.. i know it may sound bad... maybe i am not the right "Bestie" for you.. You can Choose other Bestie in this singapore...seriously i am not joking ...

Dont give us attitude like J... think her eyes super big or what... stare at us hard again, i seriously scream at her... she wad... think her eyes big like CB can stare hard at ppl giving us a hateful look...

i dont understand why J join in our group... but if she continue to join us in every little of our project because u pull her in or wadever.... i am going to just get out from the grp and do it on my own ... i dont OWN ANYONE !!!! i am so getting irritated because firstly.. the model you didnt do anything alr.. ask you to do or help me on wed .. you go and watch MOVIE... CLEVER ... and den thursday you are LATE... ok, FORGET IT .. and the FUCKEST thing is YOU keep saying MY ATTITUDE CHANGED !!! FOCUS ON WORK CAN ANOT...i rather you put in effort with me to do work ... rather than keep telling me how much i changed... do u need me to remind why u come to BCA for ?? i am SERIOUSLY GETTING F UP !!

This MONDAY is super BAD enough ! ok since val bf ask val to talk to you.. i am ok with it ... not happy or anything, say it out ... dont hide behind a mask and smile and pretend nothing has happened can anot.. you make people wonder what is your true mask.. and stop being so CHILDISH to do project when val is away ! Cmon, Can you PLEASE slightly FEEL what she is FEELING ... if ppl do tt to you, will u like it ????!? TREAT PPL AS EQUALLY... CMON! Can you PLEASE JOLLY WELL Think of Other ppl before asking that people to do the same thing with you.. THINK OF PPL POCKET, TIME , ENERGY AND FEELING ...PLEASE THINK THINK THINK! ASKING ME TO ACCOMPANY U TO TAKE A ENG TEST BECAUSE U DON WANNA BE ALONE... CAN U PLS THINK OF ME ANOT ... CAN A NOT... THINK HOW I FEEL ... I FEEL LIKE AN ACCOMPANY TOOL... WHEN YOUR BF IS AROUND, YOU JUST GO OUT WITH UR BF... IF YOUR BF IS NOT ARD, U STICK WITH ME... ASKING U GO OUT TO EAT WITH US... YOU REJECTED EVERY OFFER...ISNT YOUR DOING MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN "ACCOMPANY TOOL"???? WAD ARE U DOING??? WAKE UP... IN THIS SOCIETY, YOU HAVE TO MATURED AND THINK ! YOU CANT TAKE SCHOOL AS YOUR HOME... WITH EVERYONE PROTECTING YOU... YOU ARE IN THE JUNGLE... BEING THROWN IN THERE... HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SURVIVE ?? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT ??

I GUESS I CANT BE YOUR ANGEL. PLEASE LOOK FOR ANOTHER ANGEL TO BE YOUR ANGEL. BYE. LET JUST BE FRIEND IF YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO LET US IN. IF NOT, I GUESS , I HAVE TO PUT A FULLSTOP TO IT.

BYE.

i really cant imagine spending at least 500 dollars on a PS3 and some games .. Jus forget about the TV first .. lol.. cant afford it .. :( Lol.. mean i gt to save alot.. plan to buy one ps3 for him for his birthday..but i dunno i can make it till his bd anot .. i am trying to spend lesser and scrimp on his PS3 .. haha.. alot of my male friends said.. ur bf is so lucky...lol... :)

or should i say, finding a soul mate who will aways love u in his bottom of his heart isnt easy. it is easy to love a person in one min, but harder to last for eternity. i know my dear is the person for me.. :) buying something for your loves one is like loving him in another way... or another word to replace "pamper" :) All my friends are supporting me to buy one ps3 for him. Actually buying ps3 for him make me think very long .. but i know all guys need entertainment de mah.. if keep asking him to accompany me go out shopping , he will feel sian one day .. so might as well... sometimes stay hm and play or something go out for shopping... One stone kill 2 birds .. den he wont keep going out also ...i rather he stay at hm at night than gg to those pubs area if his buddies wan drag him there... i kill him if he go.. dunno lei, normally i don like to go those noisy n smoky place... so he cant go also ... heehee... who ask him to stick with me lor..

lol~!

so today ... whooo... i save $2 because i buy the Water bottle at guardian at $5.50... but but but .... there is more to come .. because mum and dad buy the same 4D number and both strike .... OMG ..!! I get $100 as bonus !!!!

Keep it in my saving too .. so now ...
$470
-$10
-$2
-100
======
$ 358
======

UHOO !!!! I need to save $358.. nearer to my goal now ... hope mum and dad strike sia.. LOL

today is a dunno lei lor... Maybe i should written it in a profound way where not many people will understand. I am once glad to be one of your listening ears for you to hold on further. But now i do realise that what i have been doing isnt worth a cents at all. If you are disappointed with people around you, to be frankly speaking , i am also disappointed with the situation now. Friends can be like a glass, so fragile. Once it break, it may be mended but took a long time . I Always Find it hard to explain all this to you because i knew that you are not as tough as we are. I know your character too well, you didnt like to be critise by any people.... I didnt wanna comment much on you because like i say, you are not as tough as singaporean.

People changes, yup i admit i change. But i change myself to be more attentive in class after i got the pressure from the scholarship. I wanna maintain my GPA to 3.5 this sem so that i could continue the scholarship next 2 yrs. I always wanted to tell u this, but why on earth did i hold back my words ? Why ? i didnt understand myself at all.

I wanted to tell you that it isnt that i didnt like to go to your house . However, i am saving money now for other purposes . Going to your house need time and energy and money . After school and go to ur house is tiring for me. I have no more energy after lesson and transportation cost are quite costly also.. I simply have no idea when you are not happy with me. I know you always come to school with a fake smile and bring a heavy heart to school . i wanted to tell you to become independent. Whenever , i tried to speak up, something hold me back again .. I realised that i have no position to tell you off because i am not 100 % independent myself too. But at least, wad the basic thing to do with friends is to Talk and communicate . If maintaining a non verbal communicate, how to know you more? . I am an easy going person to mix with, maybe that is the reason why i am comfortable to you last time.

I am disappointed with the attitude you have gaven me in your work :( Truely disappointed .. i am disappointed to hear ur murmur... "Not a Friend of mine anymore" i dont know what u trying to mean , but those words that come out from your mouth stabbed my heart.

I am DISAPPOINTED. If you dont treat me like a friend, why bother putting your mask on and smile like nothing has happened ? When thing is changing .. i try to help you... in your work... but giving me that murmur comment doesnt sound an encouragement to me...

:(

Today is a Free load day cause most of the tests are gone... but the main exam are coming on the oct ... so anxious lor .. sob .. so many thing to study ... ahh.. BCA Academy so weird lor .. like Fill in the blanks... not my style lei... i rather those short or long question lei...

lol... Today the model is finally done le... but somehow i feel a bit disappointed with some factors which i am facing using the making of model.. Dont feel like saying it out in blogger... As long as i know jiu can le... I hope things can be like first month.. Have Fun , talk together all this ... but now as we seen each other mask thoroughly, it seem harder to be our usual self now. We tend to hide in shell and provide a shield to defend ourselves ... haizzz.. nvm la... dont talk about all this sad sad thing

Now i missed my dear dear farting sound alr ... sob sob... last time he so gentleman , dont fart in front of me .. now... wahhh ... pu pu pu pu ~~ lol ... so funny ... i wan to hear it again... but please ... dont give me those smelly smelly one lor ... lol

^^ heehee... faster come out tml... miss u alot ... X(

today actually i should have attend my class one de, but at around 10 am.. i heard my dad shout... he scream at his top of his voice to see who is the idiot who put the spec on the floor... den i knew that it was my spec because it is too obvious that only i use his toilet and bath... i look at my daddy and was so fumed that i didnt speak any words out... i was totally quite pissed and i go back and paint my model again.. i scare i scream at him also... because to a high degrees woman.. no spec mean half blind... and i dread this feelings ...