i'll be steping into 20 tomorrow... 19 will say goodbye to me.. sob... no... i am afraid of old actually... haha ... i hate to see the changes in me , especially you see yourself in the mirror and find out that you have wrinkles on your eyes there... yuck... hate that...i arrive at the year of 1988.. it seem pretty far from 2008 ...

20 years apart, and ytd ( merry christmas) was the most idiotic thing i ever had in my life. it was pretty insulting to me.. well , i dont know how other people think of it but it sound pretty idiotic and frastruating... yesterday , me,sis and mum was compelled by my dad to attend his " merry christmas" gathering. well, my dad didnt used a gun and point at us , but as a child , i didnt want to upset my dad feelings. Each time we went up, we felt like a totally strangers.... nobody will talk to us.... leaving us there like a puppet.... i hate to be there, seriously speaking... if not for the sake of my dad feelings, i wouldnt go up at all.i dont care what people say bad things about me, because i knew what am i doing. okay , as i said .. nobody talked to us ( me.sis.mum) so we go to a sofa .. sit together and sleep ...

When my dad announce that we were leaving, we were pretty excitied... Our heart is jumping with joy... before we leave my third uncle house.. we recieved "presents" which were really unneccessary actually....

first, 'A' gave us ( me.sis) "AUSTRALIA" purse and 'A' emphasised on the brand. 'B' gave sis a perfume and got me a cinderalla keychain .okay why me a cinderalla keychain? i may look small and young cause due to my height but my mindset is consistently changing to the adult type. i don wan childish items , like cutie keychain , teddy bear ... i bet 'B' dont even know my age.... and my identity ... the wrapper wrote : " To Hwee Zhen" when did my name changed to Hwee Zhen , it show more of a stranger relatives to me... and my sis name was right . To : huixian " it really insulted me.... seriously...

what a stranger relatives we have .... i really loathe them alot... i dont like to pretend that we are relatives... for the sake of my dad, move on buddy .... :(

anyway, happy birthday to me... for tml ...