i am feeling extremely down and depressed today. No matter how much i tried to make myself happy, i couldnt smile at all. Not at all. i was walking like a dead zombic at sun plaza , hunching my back alittle , and putting both my hands in my pocket. I didnt look what ahead of me, except legs that are walking past me. i am sad. seriously sad .

we had a fling toward each other, exchanging harsh words that wasnt meant inside my heart. I was looking forward to see him today, so looking forward. Thinking that i could see him after my off- duty , but he was sick and he wasnt in a very good moods, i was planning to see him but he asked me not to go . I was sad again. I was planning my time in a different point of views, i was thinking of rushing my works within this week so that i can quit faster, however in his perspective, he was hoping that i could manage my time well. probably taking a day off on every friday. we havent meet each other for one weeks and he couldnt wait any further. actually, me too. but each has their own views, i wont change his mindset of me. No matter how much i strive to be a wonderful girlfriend of yours, there will be always a loophole. i always wont be the perfect girlfriend in your mind, there is always be a black shadow that is casting in your heart. i am not trying to shift the problems to you, hoping you understands. i love you, just like how you love me.

i do little things that doesnt look to be impressive, i sew and make a handphone pouch for you. i know this one whole week is my neglectant to you , i alienated you to a corner. Pushing you to face nobody but the four walls. sorry , i didnt manage my timing well . now i just hope that all will be fine. we are almost going to 2 years, i just hope that we will be like last time.

laughing together...

bye.